Harassment

Reading about the whole Anita Sarkeesian thing, which I’ve mentioned in my last two posts, has led me down a dark and twisted path of looking at harassment in video games. The BBC has a short radio documentary about it here, which mentions the main online namers and shamers, Fat Ugly or Slutty, and Not in the Kitchen Anymore (both of which are pretty hilarious in a frustrating way, go check them out if you haven’t already).

A chunk of the real problem, as I see it, with the frankly disturbing behaviour of some male online gamers, is one of entitlement. One of my favourite blogs, Dr Nerdlove, recently talked about that in the context of dating, over here. Jennifer Haniver of Not in the Kitchen anymore, talks in the above BBC doco, about how it sometimes seems like a male she’s interacting with in-game is just really angry that she even exists. They are really angry that she exists, and that she has the gall to be there and be unavailable – because, you know, every woman should be available for any man’s sexual enjoyment, that’s what women are for, right? (At least that seems to be the view of the guys who habitually harass female gamers). Many times on Fat Ugly or Slutty, a post contains a string of messages, that start out almost sweet (except that they are demanding some sexual favour like a naked picture or a blow job), and when it becomes obvious that compliance has a 0% likelihood, the messages quickly degrade into a tirade of expletives – usually centred around the victim’s supposed fatness, ugliness, or sluttiness, hence the name of the blog. This kind of attack points it’s anger directly to the woman’s body as the source of the problem.

Ick, I need a kitten or something now.

awww

That’s better.

I also have to mention that Haniver is really quick to point out that this is a distinct minority of players who are being total asshats and ruining the community as a safe place for women. While ranting against this stuff, it’s really important to remember that men collectively are not the problem.

Bodies on the internet today

It’s really really hard to love our bodies sometimes. On a daily basis we’re barraged with information about how a body ‘should’ look, and also with slurs against bodies that are less than perfect (which is every body). This poor woman was driven to tears by a bunch of nasty school kids on a bus. Honestly I didn’t even watch the whole 10 minute video, it’s just stupid naive kids following each other in being horribly mean to a sweet old lady.

These kids, who are so busy deriding someone for being ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’, obviously didn’t come up with those ideas independently. The fact that someone needs to teach these brats some manners is almost besides the point – those kids are probably learning that the hard way right now, since i can’t imagine that any of their parents are particularly proud of them for being the latest bullies to be plastered all over the internet.

I think the way we talk is really important, not only is the way that we talk indicative of the way that we think, but also the things we say shape our thoughts. If we lived in a society where nobody talked about ‘fatness’ or ‘ugliness’, it would have never occurred to these kids to launch these slurs at Karen  Klein. Maybe they would have found other words to use, but the point stands – we’re way too obsessed with these ideas around size and look (duh).

Also on the internets today:

” Not being assaulted is not a privilege to be earned through the judicious application of personal safety strategies. A woman should be able to walk down the street at 4 in the morning in nothing but her socks, blind drunk, without being assaulted, and I, for one, am not going to do anything to imply that she is in any way responsible for her own assault if she fails to Adequately Protect Herself. Men aren’t helpless dick-driven maniacs who can’t help raping a vulnerable woman. It disrespects EVERYONE. “

Can I get an ‘amen’?

In it’s own way, this is a cookie cutter of my previous point. The way we (and by ‘we’ I mean ‘society’) talk about victims is extremely disturbing. We need some new vocabulary (and by ‘new vocabulary’ I’m not literally talking about creating new words, just getting the hell over the victim blaming and speaking differently about what causes rape – which is rapists). Anyone who knows me may be annoyed to be hearing the same tired stuff yet again, but we need to keep talking about this stuff, we need it to be really conscious – that’s the only way that we can meaningfully change our behaviour around this issue. So I’m gonna keep harping on about it (“I am sorry people are so tired of me writing about misogyny. I occasionally get tired of living in a world defined by it.”).

Also, lots of stuff about vaginas, and legislation about vaginas, and how upsetting it is to a bunch of men when you use the word ‘vagina’. Ugh.

Which makes me think, a) I’m sooooo thankful that I don’t live the the USA, and b):

And this is brilliant:

Also, Laci Green has something to say about say about boobs.

Apparently some study in Europe (go figure) says that it’s kind-of sort-of ok to drink while pregnant.

A new study about the way we talk about atheletes says that we are more likely to say male atheletes have skill, but that female atheletes have luck. Huh.

And, on what I posted the other day about Anita Sarkeesian, this guy also has some really good points.  Maybe we need to break out the sexism in video games bingo card.

Love the hell out of yourselves folks.